This Too Shall Pass

It’s been a minute since I’ve been motivated to sit and write a blog. Well, that’s not entirely true - I’ve been motivated but I’ve had trouble finding words that struck truthful but still encouraging. I wonder why that is? Why I find it necessary to always be positive or try and find a lesson while having a Wonder Woman attitude? I guess because there usually is a lesson and my ego wants to make sure I learn it before I share. Otherwise what’s the point?

Here’s the point. Life happens. Sometimes it sucks and sometimes it’s great. When I write, talk, and share with others, the lesson often appears afterwards. So today I said, to hell with it. I’m just going to write and there might not be a moral to the story or a lesson. Maybe there’ll be only words on a screen. That’s ok, too.

It’s been a rough year. So many can relate to that, I know! About 11 months ago, Mark, my partner of nearly 12 years thought he needed new glasses because his vision had changed and he was having significant pain in his right eye. Of course he procrastinated getting seen thinking it was no big deal but finally made the appointment and went. Isn’t pain a wonderful motivator? After several trips to the eye doctor and specialists, including a trip to Emory in Atlanta, he was diagnosed with a very rare type of eye cancer that effects about one in a million people. In fact, the specialist at Emory had only seen two cases. Not the lottery we hoped to win.

The doctor explained his eye would have to be removed and he would need complete scans for ten years due to the aggressive nature of the cancer.

During this time we had a cruise planned and Mark insisted he was going. For those that know him, you know he’s pretty chill. So in August he had his eye removed and in September we left for a Canada and New England cruise to spend some time together and process all that had happened. Good plan, right? We all have experienced the old adage “when it rains it pours” and boy did it!

Hurricane Fiona decided to come along to Canada with us and several of our stops got cancelled. As an added bonus, both of us caught Covid on the cruise ship. Although we are both as vaccinated as you can be it knocked the wind out of us. We thought if we could just get home we might survive.

The next few months were pure hell. As Mark was recovering and getting used to limited vision, I came down with long Covid. Unable to be of help to him, I struggled each day with pain, chronic fatigue, and bouts of depression. Mark’s acceptance and attitude during that time was enviable. He tried out different eye patches and even wore a Mickey Mouse one a friend sent him. He rarely complained or felt sorry for himself.

Slowly we both began to heal and feel better. Mark found a true artist to construct his prosthetic eye and you’d never even know if I hadn’t told you all. (With his permission, of course). I’m happy to report he is doing very well!

I’ve been waiting on the lesson or something profound to come out of this so I could write and say something that might help someone. People would ask “Carol Lind, when is your next blog coming out?” and my response was always “I’m thinking about it”. But nothing came.

The decision I made was to write. Tell you all what the last year has been like. I don’t have to have a lesson. I had support from friends and family. Mark had the same. We leaned on them and asked for help. Life happens to us all. It doesn’t matter if we are good or bad, rich or poor, sober or drunk, believers or non-believers. It just happens. We weren’t being punished for anything. Sometimes, I admit, it feels that way.

My mama used to always say “This too Shall Pass”. In fact, she had the bumper sticker! It does pass. Whatever season or emotional state you are in right now - it will change. That’s a certainty. It’s scary when things are going great because we never want them to change. We hold on tight. But it’s also comforting. No matter how bad those months were for Mark and me , we knew it would pass - it would change. And it did. Finally.

It’s also the same when things are great. Cherish those moments. Take pictures and commit those moments to memory.

In the midst of it all, there have been some wonderful moments. We have a beautiful new granddaughter, we are making tons of memories with grandchildren, and we have some amazing adventures planned!

I appreciate so much all of my subscribers and followers who offer support, encouragement, and share their personal experiences on my blog or social media. It has certainly helped us get through these tough months. God is Good. Always.